Catch up

Ok.. so I told you about Jan 1st (and probably had you slitting your wrists in the process)  But what's been happening from Jan 2 to today, Feb 24?  O. M. G. people!!  Lots!!  So much to talk about...... BUT I'm going to tell you about it........... on a new blog. 

ha!  See how I did that?  Now you're interest is peaked.  :)

Yes that's right, since I can't keep up one blog, I thought, why not two???  The shame will be that much more rewarding. 

And what pray, tell, is the purpose of this new blog?  Well it'll be keeping you abreast of the happenings at our other house.  The old house.  The first house.  Yup.  We still have the first one - never sold it, decided to rent in the interim, and once the last renters moved out last year we decided it was time to pay the piper. (in this scenario, the piper is the good people at Lowes and/or Home Depot)  The old bird was looking tired and needed some pampering.  So we've been back at it, DIYing our little hearts out.  And can I tell ya - ITS BEEN GREAT.  There's nothing like ripping down plaster and putting up drywall to ease your emotional wounds.  Trust me on this one.  Maybe this could be a new kind of therapy?  Home improvement therapy?  Hmm.  Maybe I should put a sign in the yard that reads "Dr. Wax, Counseling Services" and charge people to come in and do some manual labor.   This could be very good for us... very good indeed..... MWUAAAA HA HA!

Ok, but enough scheming.  So the blog is Bringing Back Belmonte.  I hope you enjoy it. 

If you don't have anything nice to say...

I know its been a LONG time since I've updated everyone on what's going on around the house of Wax. And I'd love to be able to say "oh my gosh we've been SO BUSY doing house projects that I just can't keep up with the blog!! ha ha!!" But really its been quite the opposite. Aside from working our butts off at the day jobs (exhausting), I've been working on a humongous project at our church (taxing) and there's been a few medical mysteries we've been trying to uncover (emotionally stressful). I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to open up to the internets, but I can tell you that I am so over trying to hide it. So I guess this is the compromise. Just know that our life has been royally sucking - there is nothing left in the bank, financially or emotionally - and I just didn't think you'd want to hear about it so I copped out and wrote nothing for months. I am such a coward.


Wow such a bummer of a post today! Sorry bout that.

So 2010 did not live up to our expectations. At. all. So on New Years Eve we went next door to the neighbors house for a party and a bonfire. They asked everyone to write down everything about 2010 that we'd like to forget- to banish - to change in 2011. I proceeded to write a novella, Dave on the other hand just wrote one card that said "Every fucking bit of it" and I think that sums it up nicely. Maybe it was the champagne talking but we left feeling invigorated and excited about 2011. We're going to work hard at remembering the good things about this life, about the life we're creating together. And we're going to make this year great - even if we have to create our own damn miracles.

Confession

I hate this blog.

What! I DO! I swear.

Ok............. I don't really hate it. I just hate that's its an unfinished project STARING ME IN THE VIRTUAL FACE. I have tons of photos and projects waiting to be blogged about, I just never seem to find the time to sit down and write. But I am feeling that October will be different. For one - Dave and I are giving our livers a break from alcohol. I know, I KNOW - just calm down everyone... I said a "break." We're on a break. Just like Ross and Rachel. You know we'll eventually get back together again. ;)

So with that break, and with the fact that the weather has turned from oppressively hot to surprisingly pleasant, I am hoping we can spur this into a whirlwind month of home improvement frenzy. It also helps that my in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving. What is it about being suddenly faced with the prospect of outside people sleeping within your house that makes you want to re-paint the walls, get new furniture, wash wood floors on your hands and knees, re-insulate the roof, run white vinegar through your coffee pot and then wash it out 10 times... No? Anyone? Is it just me?
Ah. Oh well.

DECK this out!

When Christmas 2009 rolled around we found ourselves with almost 2 weeks off and no where to go. There had been plans to fly up to New Jersey to visit my fam... but with ticket prices as sky high as they were, I just wasn't able to pull the trigger. Then we thought maybe we'd drive back to Mississippi to see Dave's fam... but D would rather scoop his own eye out with a spoon than sit in the car for 20 hours.... so we decided to just rough it out at home.

With no one visiting.

And nothing to do.

I thought we'd be so bored, but honestly... it... was... GLORIOUS. Just glorious I tell you! There was lots of sleeping, and eating, and of course, all the drinking, and maybe some dancing in the living room in our pajamas, and inevitably there was plenty of chicken cutlet cooking and chicken cutlet eating. And every day, EVER DAY! started out like this............ YAWN! Oh jeez what time is it? Wait! I don't have to go to work today YIIIPPEEEEEE!!!! And then maybe I threw a hat in the air like Mary Tyler Moore.

But one morning Dave decided we were having too much fun. I mean, we talked about maybe tackling some sort of project, but I thought we were just talking. Until one morning when I woke up and padded out to the kitchen to get some coffee... passing this scene along the way......

Oh.... blink blink.... So.... we are actually going to DO this project.

And that's the story of how we decided to tackle the deck. Dave ripped half of it up while I was sleeping. Not that I minded actually - it was terribly rotted. It is in a very shady spot, and I don't think the wood was ever really treated to withstand the elements. I was always afraid someone would come over when it was lightly raining and slip and fall right through it and then of course sue the heck out of us. So it's probably a good thing that we (dave) decided it was high time we replaced it. Luckily when Dave ripped up the boards (half of them fell apart in his hands btw ) we found that the frame underneath was not nearly as rotted. In fact, it was downright fine! So we decided to leave it, clean it, and put new boards right back on top. Which saved us a boatload of time and money too.

We used those fake manufactured boards; the most popular brand is Treks, but we opted for the Home Depot generic brand which was slightly cheaper. And I tell ya we could not be more pleased!

Aside from the fact that they already have the pre-stained and pre-sealed look - they are guaranteed to never rot or warp. Which means we NEVER have to do this project again. SOLD! The only thing that's a little funky, is that when you screw in the boards, the shavings sort of pile up around the screw -almost like you're screwing into a crayon, if that makes sense? We ended up just knocking the material back down over the screw, and it ended up looking fine.

Other that that one weird gripe - I have to say -I'm a HUGE fan of the fake wood. Already it looks 500 times better! So this completes Phase 1 of the deck. Rip out and replace old boards. CHECK. Phase 2 involves expanding the deck beyond the original footprint, possibly with different levels. Intrigued? Stay tuned....!

And you thought Friday the 13th was unlucky.

Last weekend I volunteered to escort my Grandma home to New Jersey. She's 90 and doesn't like to travel alone. So I volunteered - wait - did you get that? I VOLUNTEERED, yes volunteered, to fly up with her on Saturday the 13th, and then turn around and come right back on Sunday. The plan was set - Arrive at NJ at 3:30, Uncle picks up Grandma at the airport, I spend the night with my cousin (she lives the closest to the airport) and then fly home on Sunday at 3:30pm. Literally 24 hours in NJ. My cousin is so excited she tells me she has planned an early St. Patty's day party at her house. When I get there it will be in full swing. Just enough time to get in a few drinks and then get back on the plane. SWEET!
Unfortunately things went horribly, horribly wrong.....

Saturday 3/13

11:30
Throw bag in car, say goodbye to the husband and the cat, make like a baby and head out.

12:00
Arrive at airport for 1:05 flight. Right on Schedule! Meet Grandma and my mom at Burger King inside the airport. Mother informs me flight is already delayed 1.5 hours. Hmmmn. Suddenly not on schedule.

12:15
Order some fries to kill time.

12:30
I can see mom is starting to squirm. Her right eye is twitching. She’s eager to get back on the road. I finally relent and say maybe we should get to the gate? Mom jumps up and power walks away before we can say smell ya later.

12:32
HOLY SMOKES BATMAN this wheelchair is HE-A-VY and I have chosen the worst possible type of carry-on luggage for this endeavor. Somehow we make it through the security line.

12:45
At the gate, sure enough, sign says NOW DEPARTING 2:30. I look at Grandma, She looks back at me and says “Ok. So we wait.”

1:30
What? What....me? Yeah, did you say something? No I yawned. Oh.

1:42
My butt is asleep. I decide we need some movement. Ask Grandma does she want to browse the little shops in the terminal? She almost kisses me on the lips YES I would like that very much she says. I think she’s just happy for the distraction. I load up all our crap, and hobble off, pushing the wheelchair and my luggage, while blood flow slooooowwwly returns to my butt cheeks.

2:01
I know you’ve got people trapped here in the terminal, but seriously? 68 dollars for a scarf? A COTTON scarf? That my husband would most likely shrink in the wash? Grandma eyes the costume jewelry suspiciously and whispers to me, “This looks cheap.”

2:15
Back at the gate. OK! We should be boarding soon. No use taking that book out of my bag.

2:16
“Folks…. Uhh. It doesn’t look good. We have been given the word from Master Control that we aren’t cleared for take off until 6pm.”

2:17
I reach into my bag for said book.

3:45
After what seems like hours of sitting there reading, I ask Grandma is she hungry? She lowers her reading glasses and says what the hell! We’re not doing anything else right? I offer to take a look at the eating options and come back with a full report. She agrees that’s easiest.

3:46
I take the opportunity to call Dave and find out what he’s doing. He tells me he’s having a beer hanging out in the sunshine, cat is taking a nap, and he might do the same later. I am jealous and immediately regret calling him.

4:08
I plop down beside Grandma with a handful of menus, some very obviously NOT take-out menus. She eyes me over the stack, How did you get these? I stole them, I say. She laughs a humongous hearty laugh. Several people turn around to look.

4:10
We decide we want southwest eggrolls from Chili’s. Just then the little man who lives in the loudspeaker tells us our departure time has moved up to 5:30! Hooray! I hightail it back to Chili’s to get some food to-go.

4:40
We scarf down food. I am afraid Grandma will choke. I tell her she better be careful, I am not about to give her mouth to mouth if she chokes. She laughs and almost chokes for real.

5:00
ALL PRE-BOARDS CAN BOARD NOW. Don’t mind if we do!

5:15
WOO HOO! We’re on the plane!

5:25
Woo hoo! Everyone else is on the plane!

5:30
Hmm. Wonder why the door is still open?

5:40
This can not be good. The door is still open.

5:45
“UHH Folks, this your Captain. I guess you’ve heard… we will try to take off as soon as we can.” We all look around at each other – what is he talking about? I call my mom, False alarm, we are still on the ground, what does the website say? She looks it up and tells me we now have a 6:55 departure time.

5:46
Pick jaw up off floor.

6:30
They finally close the door and we start to taxi.

7-ish
Up in the air and on our way. I don't remember the exact time - Its hard to see your watch through tears of joy.

9:15
After an uneventful flight, we arrive over NJ, pilot informs us this will be a VERY bumpy landing into Newark. Please buckle up.

9:25
It is really bumpy. I mean REALLY bumpy! I am getting slightly nauseous. My stomach keeps dropping out because it literally feels like we're falling. A big wind gust pushes us sideways and a lady in front of us screams a blood curling scream. The cabin lights all go on. The 20 year old stewardess starts to freak out and starts yelling from her little backwards seat in the front "HEAD BETWEEN YOUR KNEES!! HEADS BETWEEN YOUR KNEES!!!!!" I am in shock and think omg is this it? Am I gonna die in a plane crash on a flight that I volunteered for? Grandma looks at me and says "What is she saying?" I say nothing. Just relax and keep reading your book.

9:30
Somehow we land. Everyone applauds. I say a quick prayer that this was not the end. Hey look at that? Not too too late for the party!!

9:45
Meet uncle at baggage claim. HI!! He loads up Grandma and I wave. Goodbye!! I load up into the car service that's been waiting for me and I call my cousin - I'm on my way Woohoo!

10:50
Car service is lost. These streets are all blocked off because they are flooded from the weather... I offer from the back seat to call my cousin to get alt. directions, he declines, "The GPS will eventually pick us up and help us... its just so dang cloudy." sigh. this day will not end.

11pm
Get to my cousin's house. She answers the door in her PJ's. I have missed the entire thing. Everyone is gone, or passed out. Dang!! She gives me a beer and some leftover food. We sit in the living room for a little chat before we call it a night. Her brother is passed out on the couch.

11:14
Suddenly he sits up. She says Are you OK? He nods and lays back down. We go back to gabbing.

11:15
He shoots upright again. She says Hey, if your gonna puke you gotta go to the--BLUUURRRGGGG!!!!!!! he barfs all over the rug. We run screaming into the kitchen for paper towels and a pail. HOLY SCHNIKIES I CAN NOT CATCH A BREAK.

11:32
He finally is awake after all the commotion, looks up at me from the couch, where he is holding his bucket-o-vomit and says "Hey! How was the flight?"

12:00 am
Lay down in guest bedroom, cousin promises to make me coffee and a fritatta in the morning. All I can think of is - I volunteered for this.

All was not lost. Sunday was nice. We had a lovely breakfast and I did get a few quality hours in with the relatives. It was just so incredibly short. By the time we cleaned up the table I had to get back on the road so I could catch my flight home....... which was... you guessed it.... delayed. But only by an hour and a half.

Peanuts!

The Maine Attraction

(Three posts in one day! Man, are you lucky!)

Last year we took our summer vacation/wedding anniversary trip to Maine.

Now don't get me wrong, you know I love a good beach vacation where the only thing on the agenda is 1. Get a fruity drink and 2. Get another fruity drink. But in an effort to give the old wallet a break (those fruity drinks are EX-PEEEN-SIVE yo!) we decided to look for a vacation on U.S. soil. The criteria was simple - someplace we've never been, and someplace where we can relax. That's where our good friend Batman comes in. (His name is actually Dan, but at a party once he was labeled Batman, and well, wouldn't you hang onto that baby too?)

Batman offered up his mom's cabin on Penobscot Bay (near Bucksport) in Maine - at a VERY discount price. The only catch was we would have to stay the first week of the season and "open up" the cabin. Uhh Yes please! We also realized this fit all of our criteria and more:

We have never been to Maine........ check!

It's very relaxing........... check!

AND....... it was our 5th anniversary which is the wood anniversary. Well, we were going TO the woods.... Does that count? I think so.

So off we went. We spent a week there and it was everything I thought Maine would be and more. Just gorgeous scenery (minus the black flies - yuck!) and all the lobster you can eat. I felt so relaxed I think I cried a little on the flight home. I don't remember. I blocked it out. Anyway the little towns and house styles up there had us pining away for a little cabin somewhere. Either that.... or maybe we could add a front porch to our little brick ranch house? Hmmm... it definitely got our wheels and had me craving some rustic Americana accents in our own humble abode..

Photo Finish?

So one of the reasons I've been procrastinating writing more posts (AHEMMM! Shut it!) is the fact that our computer started to crap out last year - taking all of our precious before and after house photos with it. I know! Sad! I still can not get over it. :(

We did not have any sort of good back up system... so we've been in this sort of purgatory state where we try to boot it up... it crashes, or never boots as all... sometimes we get the blue screen of death... and then Dave gets a little misty eyed... and then I yell out some obscenities and declare I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY AND YOUR MOMMA IS UGLY! (and then I may or may not stick my tongue out)

But luckily - luckily guys! - I have some photos stored on my work laptop, just from saving them to get them from here to there or whatnot. So if there are some missing stages of projects - you'll have to forgive me - the computer ate my homework.

Spring has Sprung!

Ahh yes. Breathe in with me won't you? SSSSSNNNNNNNNIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
I can smell spring! I can I can! Seriously! It smells like a light dew mixed with fresh mulch mixed with chicken cutlets.

What! I'm a little hungry today....

Ok so you can't smell the cutlets, but seriously I know we're finally coming to the end of "winter" here in FL because some of the bushes are growing again, and I even spy a few flowers peeking through! I love this time of year. It gets to be the perfect temperature here in Jacksonville, there are no major holidays to plan around, we start dreaming of house projects we can accomplish over the summer this year, and football season is no where in site to ruin my plans! ha ha! I know that last one just kills Dave. But seriously, have you ever tried to get your husband to accomplish something in October? If you're nodding your head, then you've probably had this conversation before too:

So can we paint that wall/sand that floor/pull those weeds/etc today?
Uhh.... well the Jags are playing at 1.
Ok, how about after that?
Well it'll be too dark/too chilly/I'll be too tired.
Alrighty. How about tomorrow?
Oh well the BLANK team is playing.
You don't even like the BLANK!
Yes, but their win/loss totally will influence how the Jags play next week.
(Sigh)

Anyway - no time to dwell - I'm off to write up a to-do list. I decided I am going to follow along with Apartment Therapy's Spring Cure. Unofficially. Cuz, you know I'm a slacker. And I don't need people yelling at me when I fall behind. I'll be snapping photos of my to-do list and I'll (try to) post every Friday about progress I'm making.

In the meantime, on the other week days I'll be catching you up on projects that have been happening since we last spoke. Don't you love how time flies in Blogland? One minute I'm talking about New Years Resolutions... the next Spring cleaning. That's how we roll at the House of Wax. ;) Just call me the time traveler's wife.

A quarter past a freckle.

So in keeping with with ENJOY LIFE theme of 2010... I decided to send my watch on a vacation.

I wear a watch that Dave gave me before we were married. Its a Fossil, silver, square face, mother of pearl looking background, non digital watch. The year he gave it to me I had actually asked for a totally different watch - a round faced thing that had red and yellow stripes in the background. I even put it on hold at the store. But when he showed up, he immediately said No that thing is hideous and proceeded to buy me a better one that matches everything I wear. And he was right. I love (read = hate) the fact that sometimes he knows me better than I do.

So I've worn this on my right wrist for over 6 years. And I'm right handed. And before you get all bijiggity up in my face YES I know that's totally weird and "wrong" and I should be wearing it on my left wrist but I started wearing watches on my right hand before anyone told me there was this sort of unwritten rule so its too late and I'm too old now to change and I guess all my watches are just doomed to a life of scrapes and scratches.

ANYWAY... My watch is in pretty bad shape. So rather than get a new one, I called Fossil and they told me I could send it back and they would replace the crystal, band, etc., essentially rebuilding my watch for a mere 27 BUCKS, which includes shipping and handling. Seriously? SOLD! So I sent it back on Dec 1. The only catch is...... I will be without a watch....... for 4 to 6 weeks.

SIX WEEKS.

You can guess how many times I've looked at my naked wrist in the past 3 days and then said "Oh yeah...." aloud.

In keeping with the resolution - I am trying to enjoy NOT having a watch to look at, not being on a schedule, not having to know how late I am for that morning meeting. Just trying to go with the flow.

OH YES THIS IS VERY ENJOYABLE. COME JOIN ME IN HAPPYTOWN WON'T YOU?

Old Year Resolutions

If you know me at all, then you know every year I make the same lame resolutions on New Years Day and then make no attempt at keeping them throughout the year, culminating on Christmas Eve where I sit around bummed that I never A.) did enough sit ups to get Britney Spears like six pack abs or B.) refinished the wood floors by myself. (OR some times there's a C - finding a company that will pay me to wear my pajamas and taste test chocolate truffles and bottles of wine.)

You might say I have no willpower, or maybe these goals are completely irrational and unattainable. I'm going with the theory that no one can make a rational decision about the year ahead when they are nursing a hangover. That's why I am making my New Years Resolutions today, December 2nd, a regular old Wednesday. I figure maybe if I put these out there BEFORE the massive chaos of the holidays is upon us, then maybe I'll have the off chance of completing some of them.

A girl can dream, can't she?

So this year I am just making one resolution:

ENJOY LIFE.

I know. Sounds cheesy. (Ooo - even THAT apology sounds cheesy.) But really Dave and I feel..... in a rut. In all aspects of life. The years are flying by and it seems like the same old thing over and over and over and over and over and over... We need a change. PLUS, I maybe, have a habit, of, liking a routine to the point where it can kill someone of boredom. I think the nice way to put it is "she's a homebody." But Dave probably explains it as, "If she doesn't get to put her shoes away in the exact same location at the exact same time of night her head will explode."

So for 2010 things are changing. I am going to try and take time to do the things that I want to do, not what I have to do. I am going to make time for me. I am going to tell everyone important to me that I love them. And I am going to try to appreciate the things in life that we have - and not worry about what we don't have.

Here's to 2010!!!

Oh my god its almost November.

Yes. That was the title of this post. When I wrote it. IN OCTOBER. Then I saved the draft with every intention of going back to proof it the next day. But apparently it took me oh, say, another 6 weeks to even log back onto blogger. So I just deleted the entire thing.

We'll start fresh tomorrow.

So.

How have YOU been lately?

Such a SOD story...

So after the tilling, raking and ..uhh... one water line repair job later... it was finally time for the sod. YAY SOD! I don't know if we were completely ready. Seems like there was always more stuff to rake up. But we felt like we got the bulk of it done and bagged, and quite literally our arms were about to give out after 2 weeks of this, so we broke down and called out yard guy Sam to come bring us some nice new grass.

This is what it looked like when I left in the morning...

And this is what it looked like when I came home from work!

I heart yard maintenance people.

That last day of raking was COMPLETE TORTURE.

Of course by now you guys are probably well aware that Dave and I base our relationship on a mutual love of procrastination (among other things; like chicken cutlets, Seinfeld re-runs, and booze. You know, the important things in life.) It's not like we did NO raking for 2 weeks. We actually raked every night after working 9-10 hours in an office building. But it was more like: rake rake rake, I'm tired, let's stop and go watch TV!!

But that last day we were left with much more than we thought we had to do and it went something like this:

Rake rake rake gee it's getting dark out here, rake rake rake these bugs are eating my face, rake rake rake I can't see anything oh there's the street light coming on that's helpful!

Yes.

We were literally those crazy neighbors out in the yard until 10 PM. I am not joking. BUT it's all in the past and it looks like a million bucks!

The Yard, Part 2

So after all the tilling came all the raking.

And then the raking.

And of course, don't forget about... the... raking.

That's because we had SO MANY weeds that you had to get them out of that dirt otherwise we'd be back to square one and we don't want that do we? (Noooooooo!) I researched extensively about the best way to prep the yard for the sod and I am aware that some people actually leave all those dead roots and weeds in there and plop the sod down on top because of the theory that the sod "chokes out" the weeds. To these people who are writing these articles online, may I ask you, have you EVER been to FLORIDA??? There is no WAY this theory holds any merit down here. We have killer amazon type weeds that will eat your house alive if you let them.



So we had to rake *every *single* piece of crap out of the yard. Yes it it just as tedious as it sounds.



When we were in that fantastic planning phase, where you talk about what you're about to tackle and nothing has actually gone wrong yet, we told a few neighbors of this ambitious plan to till and rake and sod the yard ourselves. I swear I saw them flinch as we told them this plan. Maybe they knew of the misery that lied ahead for us? but we seemed to determined to try and stop? I'm just guessing here. Either way, just had already jumped in the pool, now we were left to swim in it.



So here's the progress we made in two weeks:
NON RAKED......






RAKED.



Can't you tell the difference? Oh yeah. It was a fun 2 weeks.


And side note - only 12 extra strength Aleve's and a glass of whiskey will help the soreness that settles into your back after 2 weeks of raking.

The Yard, Part 1

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but Dave and I were GUNG HO on getting the yard into better shape this year. If you've talked to me in the past 6 months, I KNOW I've made this claim to you; to which you probably rolled your eyes mentally and thought yeah right!!! Who are those two kidding??

Well we finally tilled, raked, and successfully put sod down in the front.

BOOH YAH SUCKA.

We got the urge to till on the hottest day on record for Jacksonville (of course). I think it felt like 115 in the sun. I'm not even kidding. We found this great store down San Jose called "Do It Yourself" and they have every tool you could possibly want and or need for rent. We rented the most powerful tiller they had. As Tim the Tool Man Taylor would say, RAR RAR RAR RRAR RAARRR!!!

It was going pretty smooth until CRUNCH what the heck? UH OH we hit the main water line to the house. Luckily we live in a real neighborhood with actual neighbors who know a thing or two about lawn maintenance. (Who knew these places existed?) You've never seen a quicker bunch of men come to Dave's rescue. Our neighbor Richard kicked off his shoes and jumped into the mud to try and turn off the water at the street and neighbor Alan ran over with a new PVC pipe he had just laying around in his garage.

It doesn't look like much of a fiasco - but it was - trust me. There I was in the house, I look out the window and one minute, Dave is tilling away, and the next it's like Old Faithful in my front yard. Dave was digging frantically at the base of the spout, looking for the pipe. I stuck my head outside and no sooner could I say "Do you want me to call..." before Dave belted out "YES!!!" I didn't even know who I was supposed to call? Anyhoo the JEA truck pulled up just as said neighbor Richard found the off switch. Of course.

So after a LOOOOOOOONG day of tilling in the record setting heat, the yard finally went from looking like this....

To looking like this!

It doesn't look like much, but at least the weeds were turned over. Not bad for a $40 tool rental, a few gallons of water lost and an impromptu man party in the front yard. AND we can say we've got another skill under our belts.

Uhh... the dog ate my homework?

Ok so it's been awhile. What can I say? Sometimes when you're knee deep in a project you need BOTH hands to get it done. (Leaving no hands available to shoot pictures and type up an article. IF ONLY my parents had lived on a nuclear waste dump! Maybe I'd have that third arm! Damn them!)

BUT! We 've got lots of typical Wax shenanigans to share with you so fret not, my pretty. Stay tuned for lots of upcoming informational blogs which may or may not be about any or all of the following...

How NOT to Till up a Yard.
(and it's follow up article; How to Fix your Main Water Line After You've Run Over it.)

What your arms will feel like after 12 straight days of raking and what combination of pills will ease the pain.

Where Black Flies live in June and how you can book a Vacation there!

and of course....

Gardening while Drunk - Pros and Cons

I know. You're anxious to get started reading. BUT I've got a LOT of editing to do. (And just maybe I've got fireworks on the brain?)

(Hmm..... Or Margaritas... )

I'll be posting again starting Monday.
Have a great holiday everyone! We've missed you!

Rain Dance

It's been very VERY dry here. So the yard is almost completely dead. And actually that's a good thing! We need the old spotty grass to die so we can till and re-sod. The bushes, on the other hand, are doing amazingly well for having no water.... Isn't it amazing how one plant can die and the other can thrive under the same stressful conditions?

This weekend it's back to work on the yard. For the past two weekends we've been out of town. First for the Godson's 1st birthday party in Tampa, then to Mississippi for a memorial service for Dave's aunt. And then of course in between flying, driving, or sitting in an airport waiting, we've been working our tails off at work due to the infamous Players Championship here in town. (What?? You didn't follow Sergio's quest to contend? FOR SHAME...)

We've decided to hold off on painting the house until we can get the yard under control. I think this will help with the stress level around the house (and the cash level.) It's really REEEEEALLLY hard not to get into 10 thousand projects at once. We are the king (and queen, I'll admit it.) of unfinished projects.

But I am determined to have a nice yard this year. I want to enjoy driving up to house after work. I want to pull in the driveway and feast my eyes on green green grass (with no dollar weed) blooming flowers and think "I live here - It's so pretty!" instead of "Hmmmm... I guess that plant died. Well, that's a new type of weed I've never - wait who threw a candy bar wrapper on my doorstep? What the-?"

Yup. It's a pipe dream. I know.

So we meet again, eh?

Of course, RIGHT after I blogged about not getting an estimate from the Referral guy............ HE CALLED! And of course his bid was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay high. Double the highest bid I've gotten so far. (That's $6,000 if you're keeping score.)

Ahh... I love a story filled with irony.

So I told him he was double my other bids, and even if I could afford him, I wouldn't use him just for the sole fact that it took him a month to even call me back; why would I ever fork over thousands of dollars to him?

(What? And you thought I was going to politely say "No thanks" and hang up?)

(Uhh Hello, have we met?)

He may or may not have uttered some expletives at me... and then may or may not have hung up on me.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Besides the yard, another humongous project we're trying to tackle is getting the house painted this summer. I know some of you are screaming at your computer screen, "WHAT?!? You mean you don't love this pinky brownish skin color??? It's so lovely!!"

Uh, NO.

(Wait, you really like it?... oh wow....umm... This is awkward. Soooo... How about that local team/the weather?)

Actually the paint is in REALLY bad shape. It's flaking off in numerous spots (read = 95% of the house) and is revealing an even pinkier pink underneath! It's like the alien trying to break through that guys stomach in that movie...


So it needs to be repainted in a bad way. And while we're breaking out the brushes, I figured it was time for a new color. You know, put our stamp on it - make it more modern like we're been trying to do inside the house. I got three bids from local painters...

#1 The Referral guy.
This guy is a contractor by trade, but a neighbor 1 street over gave me his name. He painted their house, and it's similar in size, shape, and texture (stucco/brick) so I felt pretty confident that the bid might be the same price. But I have yet to receive it. Yeah, I know. Strange since I keep hearing all these stories about how people who do house construction are dying for work. I guess not so with this dude. He came out, spent about an hour taking measurements, writing stuff down asking my house what it's symptoms are (joking! I think?) and walked around it like 4 times. He then told me he'd have to go calculate the paint and labor and he'd get back to me in a week. That was 2 months ago.

#2 The Open the Phonebook and Point guy.
Just like it sounds, I picked a name out of the phone book at random. I had the Painting Pros come out for an estimate. They are pretty generic franchise that I think is in every city in America. Just like a Firehouse Subs or a Mr. Sandless, you can buy into the franchise and they will help start it up in your city. They looked pretty reputable online too. And I liked the fact they were nice on the phone, right on time for the appointment, and the guy smiled and said thanks when he left. (Courtesy goes a LONG way with me.) He was only here 15 minutes, plugged all the numbers into his computer, spit out an estimate on his portable printer and viola! $3,000 and they could start next week.

(Points awarded for attitude, but YOWZA! Three grand? I'll have to raise some more funds.)



(BTW still no estimate from #1. Called his cell about 502 times.)

#3 The Historic House Painter who Loves his Job guy.
Last estimate came as a referral from another friend. This guy paints all the historic houses in Springfield - a section of downtown Jacksonville. He mainly works on these old two-story houses from the 1800's that are being renovated and updated. Springfield used to be a pretty sketchy part of town but several blocks have been renovated by young couples since they can afford the cheap mortgages and don't mind living in drywall dust.
This painter was very nice, and I liked him alot but I am a little skeptical. For one thing, he took a look at the front, scratched his beard and said "Mmmm, $2,500?" Just like that. Like it was a question. I was tempted to say. "Nope. Try again." The other thing that kind of worries me is the fact that he doesn't work on stucco houses. The houses he paints are all restored wood shingles. I'm sure it's not that different... but what if there's something really wrong with the stucco and he doesn't know how to spot it? I'm probably being paranoid.
Bottom line he was a NICE guy - price is certainly better - and he LOVES painting houses. Can't beat a person who loves their job. You know you are going to get 110% of effort.

(BTW Still no estimate from #1. I called him 4 more times - got the secretary once, she claimed he would call back. He did - only it was the house phone while I was at work. Oldest trick in the book dude, do you think I was born yesterday?)

So there you have it. We have yet to get started... One of the things you must MUST do before you paint is cut all the shrubbery back so the people can get in there and paint. Plus I have to decide on a color... Any suggestions?

Make like a tree and get outta here.

So one of the perks of having a dead tree on a city street is the fact that the city will come and cut it down and haul it away for FREE. This fact can be evidenced by our neighbors who had a huge (HUGE) water oak tree taken down a few months ago. Too bad our dead water oak was in the back of the house... making it impossible to convince the city to pay for it. Damn.
Here's what our view of the street from our driveway looked like with that dead oak... (I have to say, even though it was dead, it sure was purdy.)



And here's what it looks like now. TOTALLY changes the street, no?




We're still getting used to all the sun we now get. It's almost too hot to stand out in the street and gossip. Hmmm....

Anyhoodle. We had tree issues of our own this past month. A huge windstorm blew through town and the gusts actually ended up damaging a tree in our backyard. Our weird looking tree in the right corner had a branch that split in half. Not just a piddly little small branch... Oh no. That would have been too easy. One of the main branches that all the piddly little branches grow out of. Yeah that one. THAT one split in half.

It must have happened when we were at work because I came home one day and thought, "Huh. That looks funny... What's different about that---NOOOO!"

See what I mean? Kinda looks normal at first, but then you notice the left side seems to be growing down towards the grass. Yeah. ALL those little branches - GONE! because that one split was at the base of them all. Sucks. And of course we have no chainsaw (it's like the one tool we've yet to buy) so Dave got up in that tree with a hand saw and got rid of it all.

Crazy? Yes quite possibly. BUT at least he was wearing sneakers and not flip flops - or worse, barefoot. If you know Dave - you know that's a big improvement. The man is determined to lose an appendage. I'm pretty sure OSHA has his picture up on the "WHAT NOT TO DO" side of the poster that they hang in construction sites.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary...

While the yard in the back of the house is slightly neglected... (slightly? Hmm... maybe more than slightly....) There is one section that's growing nicely. Our vegetable garden! We transplanted the pots into the ground a few weeks ago and we're finally seeing some results. The herbs are doing well, with the exception of the cilantro. I let it grow waaaaay too big apparently. But I cut it down to the roots and we'll see if it does any better. I had no idea you were supposed to cut cilantro back weekly. Did you?

Oh and uh... the garden sort of looks like a shallow grave... whatever..

Anyhoo! We actually have a teeny tiny tomato, and two very VERY small blackberries.

Grow baby GROW!