Hot under the collar.

So by now you're well versed in my epic battle with the home warranty company American Home Shield. Well I am clearly glutton for punishment because I called them to come fix our heater.

I know what you're thinking. Why WHY! would you do that after it took you 4 months to get them to fix the stove??? Yup. I know. I know. But an epic battle takes time, people! With lots of shocking plot twists no less! (Plus we still have 6 months left on this baby and I am all about getting my money's worth.)

The heater says it's on - but I'm not so sure since every fiber of my being is frozen to the core. Oh yeah, and because the vents are blowing cold air. That too.

So. I called Saturday went through the ridiculous automated questionnaire and logged my problem in the system. Then a *qualified* technician (read=cheapest they can find) is supposed to call you back and make an appointment. So of course, this guy called the house phone twice yesterday - even though I gave them my work phone number. AND might I add, this guy left the wrong call back number on my machine. I had to look him up in the phonebook to realize that he mixed up his own phone number. (Oh yeah. This guy is a pro.)

So today I called him at 9 AM. The conversation was too bizarre not to share:

Strange Mr. Fix It Guy: Hello?

Me: Hi, my name is Kristen Wax, I'm calling you back, you left a message on my machine yesterday, something is wrong with my heater....

SMFIG: HELLO??

Me: Uhh Yeah, Hi. I'm calling you back, you left me a message yesterday.....

SMFIG: HELLO? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE MUSIC! WHO IS IT?

Me: *glancing around my empty, hence very quiet, office* Excuse me?

SMFIG: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

Me, overly shouting to make sure he can hear the sarcasm: YOU CALLED ME YESTERDAY - I'M CALLING YOU BACK. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MUSIC YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. THERE IS NO MUSIC.

SMFIG: Oh ok now I can hear you. Oh yeah. What's your name again?

Me: Kristen Wax.

SMFIG: Ok well I can't come today, I'm already out for the day.

(**NOTE - it's 9:03 am - does he mean he's gone for the day? or he's full for the day? I decide I don't care and push onward.)

Me: No that's fine - I'm actually at work and I'll be here all day so I'll need to make an appointment with you.

SMFIG: Ok, I'll be there tomorrow.

Me: Ok, what time?

SMFIG: I'll call you.

Me: No no no. I work - ALL DAY - I'll need a time when you are coming out so I make sure to be there.

SMFIG: Can't you just leave work?

Me: Uh NO I can't just leave at a moment's notice. I work 45 minutes from home. I need an appointment. Do you have something first thing in the morning? That's best for me.

SMFIG: How about Friday morning? First thing.

Me: Ok.

Pause

Pause

Pause

Me: Hello?

SMFIG: Yeah.

Pause

Me: Well? What time is "first thing?"

SMFIG: I'll be there at 8:00. Maybe earlier. I'll call you.

I thanked him (why, I don't know) hung up, and then realized he didn't ask for directions, what was wrong with the heater, or even get a cell phone number for me.


Oh yeah. This should be good.