Again, I have this vision in my head of you saying, "So? What's the big deal?"
(Side note: The vision usually takes on the face of my sister who could not even tell you how many yards are on the field.)
Well my friends, let me tell you what this means for the House of Wax. Productivity is down. WAY down. Why? Let's see...
We root for 2 teams - The Gators (college) and the Jags (NFL). So what's that? - 8 hours of TV watching on the weekend? Not bad.
"But wait! Don't forget about the Pre and Post game shows!" So that tags on hour on before and after each game. We really need to hear all that insight from the announcers who sit up their tiny booths above the field. Alright... still not bad. Only 4 more hours of TV watching, or radio listening.
"But wait! Don't forget about the games that will affect our teams next week!" For example, apparently we have to watch every SEC game that is televised because at some point this season the Gators will end up playing them and god forbid we don't know how they "looked" before coming into the swamp. Ok... well now we are heading into like 34 hours of TV watching... this is getting dangerous...
"But wait!! Don't forget Baseball is still on and they are heading into the playoffs!! We need to keep up with those teams, Can't abandon our favorite teams just because Football season started." At this point the TV is on non stop, I have no idea who is playing who, but there is crowd noise and cheering wafting through the house at all hours.
"WAIT!! What if we invited our friends over so we can root for these teams together? It makes more sense to have a small gathering of our 57 closest friends, and could you cook something? We're kind of hungry...."
So this is what Football season is. The TV is always on. I am always making a dip or spread of some kind. Our red meat consumption goes up by 90%. And the weekend blurs together into one big drunken sports watching 48 hours long day. We spend Mondays talking about how good/bad our teams looked. We then proceed to spend Tuesday through Thursday talking about the upcoming games and how good/bad the other teams look. And Friday is reserved for grocery shopping, house cleaning, and smack talking at work.
Don't get me wrong - I love going to a sports event. I love everything about it - the fresh air, the peanuts, the draft beer, the yelling and screaming like an idiot when they get a touchdown and high-fiving random people in front of you. I just hate the fact that all other things in your life are moved to the back burner until after Christmas.
Tomorrow we are heading down to Tampa to see if the Rays can make it into the playoffs. I am excited about going, and I'm sure it will be a fantastic game.... but I'm sad to see that chandelier still sitting in it's box, just waiting to shed some light on my dining room table...
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